In Case You Were Wondering…

Pam Dolan: mom, shopper for pens and crisis negotiator

The Day’s insipid family life “columnist,” Pam Dolan details “the horrors of shopping for pens.”

The column (anecdote?) deals little with pens, and more with penises. Dolan feels that it’s important to let us know about her sons having to pee. Classic.

The highlight (low-light?):

“Off we go to find the bathroom. Ben is having a tantrum as I drag him through the store. He does not want to leave the beautiful foam stickers and letter stamps behind. Nell follows a good distance back, just slowly enough to keep us in sight, but not so close that our fellow shoppers might suspect that she has anything to do with us.

Simon insists on going into the men’s room. This has been his stand ever since he turned 6, and he’s sticking with it. Luckily the men’s room is empty so I hold the door slightly ajar. Ben decides that he needs to go, too. Which means I have to actually enter the holy sanctum of the Men’s Bathroom and hold him up to the urinal – the only receptacle that will do.”

This is not OK. This stuff appears to have an audience, but The Day should really consider if it’s worth pissing away the only thing that may save it — namely its erstwhile role as a serious institution in the community that it covers — for some maternal mewling over how confounding it is that little boys have to pee sometimes when you’re trying to run a simple errand.

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